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...1 year later

hello to the little corner of the net that might find me. I don't expect anyone to actually look out for me, I never did, but if you're here: HI! :)

What have I been doing for the last year? Well, first and foremost, I went back to querying and have been in the trenches ever since. I didn't expect to be here again. I thought I was past this milestone on the "path to publishing", but here I am, begging agents to once again take a chance on me. ;)

As an author, the dream is to be chosen by a literary agent. They are the gatekeepers to traditional publishers (even if trad pub options are dwindling), so we entrust our stories to them, our agent. They are supposed to be our champion. We believe they have our best interests in mind and will fight for us.

Unfortunately, my former agent couldn't do that for many of her clients—including myself—so I made the hard decision to terminate my partnership with her. It was not easy to fire her, but she was no longer living up to the promises she made when she offered me representation over 2 years ago. She actually hadn't been for at least a year prior to me calling it quits. Emails went unanswered, she didn't follow up on payment owed to me for an audition, she didn't provide feedback on a new story for more than 6 months. I had to beg for notes and got a 1 page letter in response. My emails went unanswered while more agent sibs were signed on—which I wasn't mad about!—that I recognize now as a glaring red flag.

But that's behind me now. I've been refilling the well by writing, reading, and working with a new CP. The first book to get me back into the writing groove was Jamison Shea's I Feed Her To The Beast And The Beast Is Me.

I Feed Her To The Beast And The Beast Is Me by Jamison Shea

Short description: Laure Mesny is a perfectionist with an axe to grind. Despite being constantly overlooked in the elite and cutthroat world of the Parisian ballet, she will do anything to prove that a Black girl can take center stage. To level the playing field, Laure ventures deep into the depths of the Catacombs and strikes a deal with a pulsating river of blood.

I finished this book in a weekend. I ignored my kids to read the story about a black ballerina trying to prove she's earned her place in the competitive world of professional ballet. Don't worry the kids are fine even though I wasn't at the end of this read. It was AMAZING. I can't recommend it enough.

In the meantime, I'm trying not to let the current state of querying, or publishers shuttering, bring me down. I keep telling myself I might as well quit, that no one wants my stories, but every time I try a voice pipes up in my head wanting their story to be told.

Maybe self-pub is in my future if this trad pub thing doesn't work out.


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